the unwritten rules of tuba playing:

[the elephant]

@Doc

Es sólo el San Antoniano que hay en mí hablando, señor.

[Doc]

@Doc

Es sólo el San Antoniano que hay en mí hablando, señor.

Lo entiendo, compadre.

[Stryk]

#17.5 - Always choose the heaviest horn with the largest bore and bell made with the thickest brass in existence. Science says those sound best.
#17.6 - Only use the megatone version of any mouthpiece, and only those made of the heaviest brass. Science says those sound best.
#18.25 - Science tells us that spitvalves cause sound waves to become warped - remove all spitvalves from your horn.

[Doc]

#17.5 - Always choose the heaviest horn with the largest bore and bell made with the thickest brass in existence. Science says those sound best.
#17.6 - Only use the megatone version of any mouthpiece, and only those made of the heaviest brass. Science says those sound best.
#18.25 - Science tells us that spitvalves cause sound waves to become warped - remove all spitvalves from your horn.

What about the nodes, man?

And don’t forget: cryotherapy will relax the molecules for better resonance.

[Stryk]

cryotherapy will relax the molecules for better resonance.

But....but....We MUST believe in science!

[bloke]

cryotherapy will relax the molecules for better resonance.

But....but....We MUST believe in science!

...You left out the word, "THE".

[bort2.0]

Regarding "the" science... It reminds me of a math teacher I had in high school... Who was an excellent teacher and a really kind older man... But added the word "the" before words that didn't exactly need it... "the science"...

[bloke]

science - the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment

THE science - that which your tyrant rulers insist that you believe and - if you refuse to believe it - behave AS IF you believe it anyway...or else

[edfirth]

whatever

[windshieldbug]

whatever

... THAT was fast!

[Three Valves]

Fast?? It didn't even make the first page!!

[iiipopes]

I am glad everyone else is posting the "rules" as I try to remember them all as this evening is the first rehearsal of the new season. Oh - one that I can't remember the number: Do everything you can to keep from being called out in rehearsal.

And one I appended to the bottom of the list:

We all know this quote out of the Godfather movie: "“I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men.” It applies to bass players, whether tuba, souzy, electric bass, double bass, saxhorn, etc. Just substitute in the words:

“I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. The rest of the band/orchestra can afford to be careless, but not bass players.”

[russiantuba]

I do agree with what you said, I’ve always been encouraged by someone with one of those jobs to NOT do the RVW to not reveal issues. Many of the big jobs, the winners did not do the RVW.

Isn’t Hary Janos pretty standard audition repertoire? During my doctor of tuba degree, my professor made me learn this one early on

[quote=russiantuba post_id=37725 time=<a href="tel:1644445593">1644445593</a> user_id=53]
Rule No. 112: When given the choice of solos at an orchestral audition, one must choose the Vaughan Williams Concerto for Bass Tuba

Quite a few years ago, I was told that I was expected to "audition" for a job which (I was under the impression that) I thought I already had been awarded.

I had two choices:

- Tell them to go fark themselves (which would have broken some friendship/business ties (with "the arkustruh job" itself having been of secondary or tertiary importance).

- Agree to audition, but ABSOLUTELY not allow anyone else to prevail (which would have been as embarrassing as hell ).

...so I chose the latter.

I actually PURPOSEFULLY chose to play (as my solo-crap) quite a few excerpts from "the Vaughan Williams", because I figured that's what MOST EVERYONE ELSE would choose, and it was the EASIEST WAY (at least, in my way of thinking - particularly, if I played portions from each movement - thus probably playing "most everything that most other applicants would have played") to demonstrate that they all sucked, and that I did not suck.

I was actually working (plus I had to play somewhere right after work) on that day, so I walked in and (as they had agreed to, previously) was shoehorned in to the lineup (so that I could play, leave, and get back to work). With the personnel manager waiving a clipboard around, I noticed that there was one person I recognized (who held a doctor of tuba performance type of degree from a highly-regarded conservatory). As I was packing up my sh!t, I heard that person do their last "thingie" (sight-reading). It was the Kodály: Háry János Suite - "The Battle And Defeat Of Napoleon" ditty, and I heard them play a big phat B-flat - where a B-natural belonged. As I was headed out the door, the personnel manager ran to catch up with me, and told me that I had the job, to which I replied, "I know".

Kodaly tuba excerpt.png

[/quote]

[bloke]

I’ve mentioned that I sit in with a community band’s rehearsals, from time to time. Last week, the music director said “Listen to the tubas; they are right on it.”
We responded with, “Thank-you for your very liberal definition of “right on it“.

[bloke]

I do agree with what you said, I’ve always been encouraged by someone with one of those jobs to NOT do the RVW to not reveal issues. Many of the big jobs, the winners did not do the RVW.

Isn’t Hary Janos pretty standard audition repertoire? During my doctor of tuba degree, my professor made me learn this one early on.

"Sight-reading" - at an audition - probably shouldn't actually ever REALLY be "reading something for the first time".

Kodaly isn't in many of the excerpt books, though, is it?

It is what it is. It WOULD have been nice - had Kodaly or his engraver/publisher - included a courtesy natural sign on that B, but it ain't there, and (possibly?) that's why they chose that - in particular - for their "sight-reading". If someone's familiar with that tune, they WILL play the B-natural. Otherwise, it's a cute little "trap", eh?

...and I'm also thinking that the same applicant played the opening of the John Williams (somewhat busy/confusing/etc. regarding "showing one's stuff" to an audition committee, in my opinion). IF John Williams, THEN (in the opinion of bloke) movement II...and show them how "flute-like" one's odd-intervals arpeggio-playing (etc.) is. Audition committees usually don't wish to be disturbed. Rather, they are looking to be soothed/comforted/made to smile.

REALLY impressive...??
Play something that they all know VERY WELL, and PLAY it VERY WELL.

also (getting soapbox-ish, now), ' gotta get away from that piece of paper.

I played VW mvt II, last year, on a subscription concert. During the first rehearsal, the MD was surprised that I didn't take paper up there with me. (me: thinking but not saying it... geez: It's a SOLO. The SOLOIST is SUPPOSED to KNOW the friggin' SOLO, yes?)

[Dan Tuba]

The VW Concerto 2nd movement is beautiful. It doesn't take long to figure out whether or not the tuba player is in shape both physically and musically. I also really like the Ewazen Concerto 2nd movement. It's just as beautiful to my ears, unfortunately, doesn't seem to be programmed as much, or asked for in auditions(probably because it's not programmed much for tuba).

[Crymzon1980]

40. Pros play CC and F. Amateurs play BBb. Eb is a British thing.
41. BBb tubas only need 4 valves
42. Get a big, oversized piston F tuba, as all rotary valve F tubas have a horrible low C.

As an Eb Bass Player, I must now identify as British

[Crymzon1980]

#37. Tubas can get down and funky!!! as demonstrated by Richard Fox:

[bloke]

“Doc” now owns an E-flat tuba, so I suppose he will be changing his name to “Bill Holst”.

[matt g]

cryotherapy will relax the molecules for better resonance.

But....but....We MUST believe in science!

In this case, (metallurgical and acoustics) science actually shows that cryogenic treatments to tubas would do nothing to them.

At least with the cryogenic treatment, a good chem clean came along with it.