wake for a tuba

[bloke]

only making a joke about the picture...


https://www.ebay.com/itm/364577745920

[arpthark]

RIP

[bort2.0]

It looks so peaceful. Really looks exactly like itself too.

Man, Open casket wakes are weird weird weird weird. I don't know how much it's true, but somebody I knew in high school, who wanted to become a mortician, she said that at least back in the day, one of the reasons for open caskets was as undeniable truth that the person had actually passed, and was actually contained within that coffin on site that was also getting buried at the cemetery. I don't know how that sort of thing could be proved or trusted or whatever any differently today, but what a strange thing to think about, that anyone of those things would be not true and passed off as being true.

[jtm]

That's a very very open casket.

[tofu]

[

[bloke]

Those who interpret the Book of Revelation as a second coming sometimes actually believe that their physical bodies are going to be resurrected, and - for that reason - some of them avoid cremation.

Several decades ago, I filled out a paper whereby the University of Tennessee School of Medicine comes and picks up my rotting corpse, probably pickles it, practices operations on it, and then burns it up and gets rid of it somewhere. Personally, I just don't have any use for skin painters, corpse cabinets, or monuments. It is interesting to look at old monuments in graveyards, but most of us knew or remember approximately 0% of everyone who's buried in any graveyard. No more than sixty years after I'm gone, there won't be a single soul on earth who will remember me.

I told Mrs bloke that if she hired some guy in a robe too read crap about me off index cards, that I would come back and haunt her.

With these blunt comments, no one need assume that I'm not aware that there is some existence which is larger than us and all knowing. I just don't feel that I'm qualified to put a brand name on it.

As far as stone monuments go, it's pretty easy to identify the most evil amongst us in the past, because those will be the largest ones.

[arpthark]

It looks so peaceful. Really looks exactly like itself too.

Man, Open casket wakes are weird weird weird weird. I don't know how much it's true, but somebody I knew in high school, who wanted to become a mortician, she said that at least back in the day, one of the reasons for open caskets was as undeniable truth that the person had actually passed, and was actually contained within that coffin on site that was also getting buried at the cemetery. I don't know how that sort of thing could be proved or trusted or whatever any differently today, but what a strange thing to think about, that anyone of those things would be not true and passed off as being true.

I went to a funeral and the person was to be cremated. They had rented a casket for the church service - with the open casket containing the body - which would then be cremated and then the remains dumped in and buried in the casket - that just seems weird to me and needlessly extra expensive.

Another bizarre one - my brother-in-laws mom suddenly died last December - she was a lovely person. I still miss her. Anyways - she was cremated - but the remains would not come back in time for the church service. Time was of the essence as his one sister - a clarinet player in one of the big name orchestras had to fly back in short order - so they had to do the service quickly and before the remains would be returned. The middle sister is - let’s just say she’s out there orbiting her own planet - an incredibly talented oboe player - but can’t land a job in a big name orchestra - so she has had a series of low end music non-profit jobs - but plenty of time on her hands.

She insists that no one outside the family is to be told that mom was cremated - so they have both an urn - which she fills with sand to represent mom since they wouldn’t have the remains back in time - and a rented casket - in which she then placed the sand filled urn. So it was a closed casket service holding an urn and the urn contained no remains - just sand. I’m stilled confused as to why the urn needed to be in the casket or why it needed to filled with sand or why have the rented casket or even why nobody outside the family could be told she was cremated. Only she seems to know and nobody has ever gotten an answer out of her or wanted to argue with her.

My own family sitting in the pews just looked at each other at the rented closed casket knowing the sand filled urn was inside shaking our heads. Then it got just a bit weirder at the start of the service in an interesting Catholic church in the shape of an octagon with 360 degree stain glass all around. I see the priest gather with several choir boys just outside the sanctuary doors. I turn around at the start - and start elbowing my wife - the priest is Martin Scorsese’s doppelganger. I mean this guy looks exactly Marty in every way - height weight face etc. Almost immediately the Cantor starts talking and then stops in the middle of a sentence - he seems confused. Then silence for about 3 minutes. The doors swing wide open. And Angry Marty the Priest starts angrily shouting gesturing & waving his arms.

"Start Start - what are you waiting for - start start - get going - sing” - this guy not only looks like Marty - he now sounds exactly like Marty - I mean exactly like angry Marty - the cantor goes -“now?" Marty - now yelling full throated - “YES YES YES —>NOWWWWW! ARE YOU DEAF!!! GO!!!" So the Cantor starts singing - he looked mortified - and Marty and the procession proceed inside. My wife is now elbowing me hard in the ribs because I’m literally rolling - trying hard not to laugh out loud in the pews as this procession passes by with several severely mortified looking choir boys and Angry Marty waving a mace type thing and incense. Not Catholic so I’ve got no idea what this stuff is called. My kid is up there waiting to sing Ave Maria and she’s looking mortified that Angry Marty is going to start yelling at her next. Turns out the Cantor was not familar with a funeral service - having never done one and angry Marty was the new head priest at the church even though he had once been a junior priest there like 40 years ago he'd just returned.

This happened on the day before Xmas Eve. My brother in laws mom was a devoted Catholic and she had requested a mass service. Marty the angry priest in the middle of the service had a sermon. The service was interesting as the family had opted to have Xmas songs as part of the service being so close to XMAS and mom had loved Xmas. Both her and her husband had been very active members in this church. Angry Marty proceeded to use his lengthy sermon time to rail about Catholics that only show up in church at Xmas. Apparently, according to Marty Scorsese the Angry Priest -those who only show up at Xmas will not be in need of winter coats where they are headed for in the ever after. It was truly jarring the contradiction between the lovely Xmas songs that the family had selected and the utterings of Angry Marty in the sermon. The final insanity. They never got the remains. The place somehow misplaced them. So this summer the sister decided to gather the four siblings and have another small service at the grave site. The one sister had to fly a couple thousand miles again. It was there that the orbiting oboe player let them know - the remains were missing and she was burying the urn with the sand. The other 3 siblings wanted to strangle her. I'm still laughing out loud at the spectacle that the whole thing was.

The Aristocrats!

[Three Valves]

"Angry Marty"

Was his mother in attendance?

[Uncle Buck]

With these blunt comments, no one need assume that I'm not aware that there is some existence which is larger than us and all knowing. I just don't feel that I'm qualified to put a brand name on it.

And you've motivated me to make similar arrangements to yours following my demise. Unless I forget.

"Tivan: I never thought I'd meet a Groot. Sir... You must allow me to pay you now so that I may own your carcass. At the moment of your death, of course.
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Why, so he could turn you into a frickin' chair?"
(Guardians of the Galaxy, 2014)