TubaForum.net

Tariffs?

jtuba wrote: Fri Aug 14, 2026 9:01 amTariffs?

uninformed hand-waving about tariffs, almost as bad as a blind date with the piccolo player

bloke wrote: Tue Aug 11, 2026 7:47 am How do you REALLY annoy a tuba player?

25397 posts on the ole tubie-forum?

Running out of beer!

bloke wrote: Tue Aug 11, 2026 7:47 am De-tune one of their tuning slides during the break.
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How do you REALLY annoy a tuba player?

Don't tell them which one.

Or you make him sit next to the really sharp bari. sax player at a concert band gig. Same effect.

What used to happen in high school and occasionally in university is that folks would pour a bottle of water either into the bell or leadpipe then set the horn back down, player would pick it up try to play and realize theyve been got, then as they empty the water on the floor everyone would look back and be grossed out, thinking that you slobber more than a mastiff at dinner time

A penny or nickel in the main slide?

Jperry1466 wrote: Fri Aug 14, 2026 4:25 pm

bloke wrote: Tue Aug 11, 2026 7:47 am De-tune one of their tuning slides during the break.
-------------
How do you REALLY annoy a tuba player?

Don't tell them which one.

Or you make him sit next to the really sharp bari. sax player at a concert band gig. Same effect.

Or next to an overly-enthusiastic bass drummer. Each hit sorta knocks notes back down the bell (if you've ever had this experience, you know exactly what I'm talking about.)

UncleBeer wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2026 2:51 pm Or next to an overly-enthusiastic bass drummer. Each hit sorta knocks notes back down the bell (if you've ever had this experience, you know exactly what I'm talking about.)

With horn players it's the timpani, and yes you feel the impact through the mouthpiece.

arpthark wrote: Tue Aug 11, 2026 9:11 am

gocsick wrote: Tue Aug 11, 2026 9:09 am That's really not nice .. those things are set at the factory.

How'd you come across a picture of a BBb?

Enquiring minds would like to know...

(my only evidence they exist is the photo in horn-u-copia:

Grumpikins wrote: Thu Aug 13, 2026 2:31 pm Fellow tuba in the section...

Ad-lib everything instead of playing what's written.

Play everything down an octave.

Try to play all the melodies.

Don't shower for a week.

Sounds like you know me...

I had no idea this bothered anyone? Gosh, now i wish someone had told me.

PS. and this is how come i love busking.

the elephant wrote: Tue Aug 11, 2026 10:34 am Old joke. I first heard it as:

Why was the bassist so pissed off? Because during the break in rehearsal, the timpanist turned one of the tuning pegs on the bass and then wouldn't tell him which one it was.

<rimshot>

Having done time as a concert band string bass player, i count myself lucky to get a tuning note.

From personal experience, lossening the endpin would be worse. Or removing the rockstop, either way, nothing is worse than having the instrument slowly slip lower/away from you in the middle of a piece.

Not that i want to give mischief makers any ideas.

humBell wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2026 5:18 pmNot that i want to give mischief makers any ideas.

gocsick wrote: Tue Aug 11, 2026 2:37 pm How many tuba players does it take to change a lightbulb?

5.... 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to drink until the room spins.

Variation on the same joke. the punchline:
1.
No, 5.
Or is it 1?
Or 5?
1, 5, 1, 5, 1, 5, 1 bum bum bum.....

cthuba wrote: Tue Aug 11, 2026 4:04 pm Put them next to a drummer who can’t keep a steady beat in the polka band.

Yes, Been there. In a community concert band.

I played a job today whereby everyone else appeared as though they were almost young enough to be my grandchildren.
That COULD have been annoying, but the church handed me $350 bucks, so I got over it.

(It was sort of fun, because it a combination of "2nd trombone or tuba" and "bass trombone or tuba" parts. I hadn't dragged my F tuba out in a long time, so I got to knock the cobwebs out of it... and that (playing a different tuba, for a change) was DE-annoying.



... You get to a certain age, and everybody on the gig knows your name but you don't know anybody's else names.

The most annoying thing for this tuba player is bass trombonists.

First, they *think* they can play the tuba part on their bass trombone and sound like a tuba. We all know they cannot. "Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should."

Worst, is when they pick up a tuba, repeatedly ask what the fingerings are for every note, and bring their oh so special bass trombone blat to the tuba.

AggieDan wrote: Sun Aug 16, 2026 9:39 pm The most annoying thing for this tuba player is bass trombonists.

First, they *think* they can play the tuba part on their bass trombone and sound like a tuba. We all know they cannot. "Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should."

That goes double for those who bring a contrabass trombone to a community band gig and think they should heroically overbalance the entire tuba section.

Mary Ann wrote: Tue Aug 11, 2026 10:21 am There was a time at brass band a couple years ago, that I got out the NStar, did not see the mouthpiece pouch in my bag, and said SH!T ! The guy next to me said, "Forgot your mouthpiece?" Like, he was telepathic or something. Turned out I had it but in a different place, but I found it amusing that he knew exactly what I meant. (and he had a spare to lend me too!)

I put an AirTag in my mouthpiece case so I always know where it is. That's come in handy multiple times.