We like big BATs and we can not lie
You other players can't deny
That when a tubist shows up with a big gig bag
you want to take a look at that tag!
I mean the engraving, is it a York?
Does it have that Grand Rapids pork?
Or maybe it's a copy by the Swiss?
With a 'brunner you just can't miss.
I like that handmade Baer!
Those big valves take all my air!
Oh god, is that a Holton?
Let me tell you, that tone is golden!
Ohhh, let's cut it to C!
'cause that's the best key!
Add a fifth valve, flat whole step.
It will give it that extra pep.
Let's play 'the ride'
with grand orchestral pride.
It's low! Whoa!
Woodwinds gonna say "OH NO!"
I'm so tired of maestro
saying that he wants bass tuba.
Take the average concertgoer and ask them that,
It's gotta have that BLAT!
So tubists, tubists!
Is your horn a big BAT?
So go play it! Play it!
Play that giant tuba!
Baby got BAT!

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